The Major Revelations

Love is at the very foundation of the Universe Grief is the ultimate expression of Love It is far easier to ask the Beloved for forgiveness than it is to forgive oneself. The antidote to suffering is love. The only possible response to the glory of the Beloved is, first, a deep longing for communion; … [Read more…]

At the Spring Retreat

The experience of this retreat in general has been one of movement from my head into my body. Every exercise I did, I felt in my body and they have been extensions, acknowledgements of the continuing experience of my recent weekend. Whether the flow of consciousness or the structures in consciousness, they were experienced within … [Read more…]

From the Inside, Out

Up until yesterday, the experiences I have been having have been outward. The movement of my body has been outward; my prayers have been directed outward in their devotion. The dialogue has been with the Beloved, a Beloved who existed outside of me; whom I love, revere and whose love has been agonizing. Yesterday, something … [Read more…]

On a Southwest Flight to Irvine, California, 2011

It is difficult to find the words to express the awe, rapture and ecstasy that live at the core of my experience. That I, a mere mortal, can feel such longing for communion with the Beloved and feel such Intelligence course through me in these ecstatic waves of pleasure so sublime that it is painful … [Read more…]


Written in a Condo in San Jose, California My day to day experience is so far outside of the realm of what I ever imagined that my capacity, ability to find the words to describe it no longer exists. The words feel mere abstractions of a reality that is so painful, so exquisite as to … [Read more…]

A Prayer to God

Here in this Garden of Earthly Delights, I offer myself to you… So that I may learn the lessons I need to learn That I may partake of your wisdom, manifest your love. See as you see, teach as you teach Serve your purposes, which I know are always the highest, Even when I do … [Read more…]

A Prayer

Feel the magnificence of life as it seeps through your pores and travels through each cell in your body electric. This is what Walt Whitman knew, the body electric. It feels as if a switch has been flipped inside of me and the love moves through my system unbeckoned, unhampered; uncontained. I feel it for … [Read more…]

What If?

What if I ceased aspiring to be an idea I have about who I should be or what I am supposed to be doing? Why on earth would I want to be an idea when I can actually just be who I am?

A Letter to my Father, Who is Dead

14 February 2016, Daybreak Lucia, California A Letter to my Father, Who is Dead Dear Dad, Nearly three decades have passed since your death. I have lived almost half of my life without you. I am struck by all the things I would like to say to you, nearly 30 years on, about my life … [Read more…]

A Walk with Presence

13 February 2016 Mid-afternoon Lucia, California This morning I awoke, reflecting on my origins. And I began to wonder how I arrived here, at a Christian monastery after having rejected God for the better part of my life. I realized that I majored in Philosophy because I longed for answers. All I received were more … [Read more…]